A former soldier has called Loughborough College, “a light at the end of what was a very dark tunnel” after being awarded his degree this week.
Jonathan Murray graduated from the College with a BA (Hons) in Leadership and Management and delivered a heartfelt and inspirational speech at the Town Hall ceremony.
The 42 year old talked about a career which has included marching at the Queen’s Birthday trooping of the colour during military service, providing security for leading political figures and celebrities and advising the UN on Somali pirates – before his world crumbled around him with a diagnosis of PTSD.
“When I first walked through the doors of Loughborough College I was in a very fragile place, I was terrified. I didn’t even know what a degree was or what it involved… and now I am graduating. The College became a light at the end of what was a very dark tunnel for me and I cannot thank them enough.
“From the age of 16 I lived out of a bag and even when I got married and my wife Natalie and I had our two children, I was away for weeks at a time, missing birthdays, anniversaries, even Christmas. And through everything I experienced over the years, I never let it show that anything had affected me. I just filed it away. Then one evening I was watching TV at home - and the next moment I was a 19 stone crying mess.
“I got medical help and counseling to address the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but I didn’t want to leave the house. I felt scared of my own shadow. So when Natalie, who had just completed an access to university course at Loughborough College, took me there to look at studying for a degree I was terrified.
“I printed out a CV, so the staff would know what they were getting. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But when I committed to the course I didn’t really understand what it was. I’d grown up in a coal mining town where no one talked about A-levels, let alone degrees. The most immediate issue for me was sitting in a room with lots of people. But the College seemed to understand. They shepherded me through it. I needed to get back on track and every tutor helped me do that.
“When the College offered me the opportunity to speak at the graduation ceremony I decided not to be nervous. I’d had enough of that. I just spoke from the heart, revealed some of the emotions I’d bolted down for all those years and it helped unleash some demons.
“I was overwhelmed by the response to my speech. It still hasn’t really sunk in. The whole day of the ceremony I was on top of the world. I have achieved a lot in my life but graduating surpassed it all. Whatever doors open for me now, I have the confidence to step through them.”